工作@人生

"總會有人說妳好，也會有人說妳不好，但只要做人做事問心無愧，就不必執著于他人的評判。無須看別人的眼神，不必壹味討好別人，那樣會使自己活得更累。當有人對妳施不敬的言語，請不要在意，更不要因此而起煩惱。因爲這些言語改變不了事實，卻可能攪亂妳的心。心如果亂了，壹切就都亂了。"

不知不觉却工作了三个月的时间,工作在一个我从来没有想过我会在哪儿做工的,马六甲.始终,那并不是我理想的工作环境.我没想过再离家更远了.

因为没选择,我还是撑了三个月.最后种种原因,身体状况再不容许我留在那里了.虽然有知己的陪伴,但是我没有办法忽略了自己的健康.是是非非,有些人的不谅解,我只好看不见也装着听不见.好的事情我希望我永远记得,负面的影响我是应该撇开了.

我并不后悔在那里待过.....我该清楚我要的是什么.只是进化赶不上变化.

挫折

没有挫折的生活不叫人生，没有生病辛苦过，不知道要好好照顾身体，没有爱过，怎知道什么是伤害。 我累了，可以看开吗？

我

我要用我赚的钱 买属于我的包包 装属于我的故事

嫉妒

疲惫的身躯
听见了不该听的
激起了我的嫉妒心
不该有的态度
的确破坏了我一整天的心情

释放，改变态度
我却怕输
每个人都害怕
站在原地的我
我怕别人已经在超越自己
我怕别人拥有的
我却得不到

我该做些什么呢
改变。。。。

我该起步慢跑了=）

保护地球，关灯一小时

第一次庆祝

跟Vista其他分行的同事一起庆祝

An Unexpected Question

Early in this morning, as usual i started to prepare and warm up all the machine.
After doing some initial testing on patients' eye, including those who done surgery yesterday.
Then here i met a fussy patient that she didn't happy with more than one person around her while she was doing the test.
And i was the one continued with her by assisting her in doing visual field test.
By that time, only i found out that her left eye was blind and her right eye was having advanced glaucoma.
During the test, she was there to tell me that she hated doing the visual field test that made her feel so strain and tired.

Halfway, during the resting time, this patient threw a question to me.
"How if my left over right eye becomes blind also?"
I totally blank out...........................................................................................................................

I think for a little while, then i answered, "Don't worry, our doctor will help as much as she can."
Now, i wonder how is the feeling of a patient when she knows that she is going to become blind?

2 weeks of industrial posting

Vista Eye Specialist, Bangsar

time passed and it had been one week posting at Vista Eye Specialist.
the staffs at Vista were professional and the ophthalmologist was so friendly.

Dr Shamala

they taught me much more than i can learn during lecture and the technology at Vista is so much advanced that i was surprised during the first day i was there.
there was self experience during facing with the real patient.

autorefractor with IOP and K reading.
phoropter with fully automatic functioning.
Orbscan, IOL master, Humphrey and OCT that was so common at Vista.
i saw the real cases there, and coming week im going to enter the operation theater for LASIK and no-blade cataract surgery.
the most important thing is that, i wont be seeing any blood during the surgery.

during the first day, i found it was boring to be there and nothing for me to do.
but now, i am so busy in dilating patients' eye, doing autorefractor, Humphrey visual field test and become doctor's assistant.
all of these making me feel more interested to become a optom.
if my future working environment similar as vista, sure i will find it great!!

say hi, to my blog

going to say hi, to my blog
only when after i spent some times at home,
only when i need to shift back to pj,
i will browse my own blog....

looking back something i have posted,
reading back the feeling i had before.

holiday is still coming to the end.
bye home, and hi to pj room.
say CHEERS!!! to myself=)

since there's lot of assignments waiting for me.
time is rushing....

是谁?

好久都没在这里留言了.

要说忙到没时间,却又不是.

只是每次写了几句,却没心情再写下去了.

这一段日子,过的还好.

只不过,发生了好多事.

要说人变了,还是得说我看透了.

是谁真的变了,是谁真的让我看透了.

其实,是心看透了,却不想说透了.



最后,是谁依然在我身边?

是谁,让我彻底失望?

是谁依然是我的避风港?

是谁,不管我做任何事,心还是被你们看透.

the real side of me ^^

i keep telling u, i wont angry...
i keep telling u, i wont throw tantrum at others..
i keep telling u, i wont and i wont...
but i finally i did!

after one year we been together, today u saw that..
the real side of me revealed.. not that i'm pretending..
just that i'm the way i'm....
i shouted, i raised my tone, and i cried.
just only because u told me not to do that >.<

sorry baby. i know i shouldn't be so narrowness.
i'm not that princess at home anymore..
people who knows me well knew that,
for my own good, they're not afraid to shout at me just like that.
people who dont know me well,
they will never do this.

baby, i know u said that because of my own good.
now, u realised that i'm fragile.. please handle me with care, love and respect.
i'mma trying to change, promise!

I'm so lonely here

it was like no fresh air for me to take a breath.

it was like no great joke to make me laugh.

it was like no way for me to escape from my deep end.

it was like no solution for my problem.

it was like nobody knows i did and i care.

i miss my little baby at home.

i miss my big baby at uk.

i miss my parents give me love.

i miss my grandparents give me hug.

i miss my friends all over the world.

i miss my cousin who did hug me tightly everyday when he was here.

i sleep alone...

i online alone..

i play games alone..

i study alone..

i do revision alone..

at least, i started to do revision, study and prepare for every lessons. =)

给我最爱的妳

好久没有看你这个模样了。

好久没看到你这么笑了。

打从心里的笑出来。

你从不知道，你的笑对我有多大的影响力吗。

很想告诉你，虽然你很忙很少时间参与我们的聚会。

但是，他们从来没把你忘掉。

他们一样很想念你。

很想更常见到你。

看到你，我确实是有太多的话，一次过我说不出，也说不完。

告诉过你，很想在下一次看到你时把你抱紧。

可惜，我刚才真的没勇气。



想跟你说，你依然是当年我那么疼爱的妳，想宠坏的妳。

一直都没变过。

2months holiday coming to the end soon

2months holiday was considered a quite long holiday.
but i never feel bored, not even a second.
i enjoyed being lazy, laying on the sofa, taking a nap.
hanging out with them, breakfast, teatime, or supper?
no stress, no worries... here i being so simple.
never feel like going back to pj, being a hypocrite.
i have no choice, except accept all these things.
a university, that the management was horrible and unfair.
a house, an accommodation that i'm so sad and hurt to live there.
a house that nobody wanna take any responsibility on it.
a place that we are not willing to stay even one more second.

And life, i must change it.......

Take a deep breath...

Always feel peaceful at home.

Grapes in my garden!!

Grapessss...

I gotta feeling!!

A happening day!!

look at his naughty face!


wink wink!!

Yurray. today is our little prince 1 year old birthday. I looked at him, since he was born and now he growing up. Time passed in a blink of eye. Now he is already 1 year old. We love him so much, he brought joy and lots of fun to my family again. Today is a happening day, i fetch my cousins came back from usa and my friend.We hanged out almost everyday!! We went the store, the place that i will never go if i'm the driver.But i did today, i tried on the thing that i never dare to do.Most of time crowded especially weekend and no more parking available.The side parking i was like totally not dare to challenge it.Firstly i tried, again and again.But i failed too >.< Cousins were like laughing non-stop in the car. But luckily and coincidentally, i was trying to park in front of my another cousin sister's photo shop.I was so shy when all the workers whom i knew them coz i always working part time job there, they were shouting and laughing at me.

It was like OH MY GOD.Then cousin sister came out and parked the car nicely for me.Thanks god. Thanks sister.I should try and try again for my side parking next time.We did chat alots everyday. Almost everyday, laksa will be my cousins' lunch.They liked it so much since their first try.Each time they came back, laksa still be their favourite.Together with ice kacang.Haiz... never try it for so long time since i got asthma.( Baby, see....i did listen to u!)

After that, sent my cousin back to grandma's house and so on my friend,coyin. We did chat alots of my cousin internship life in disney world florida.She having so much fun there.I hope to try it too... temptating.How good if i'm there and spend my time with all the cartoons...And take picture with Stitch, since baby said we looked alike.On the way back home, only left cousin brother and i in the car.We saw an accident just in front of us.We stuck in the traffic jam, i cant move at all.We have been waiting...I'm totally panic when i saw people laying on the road while another wiping the blood on his face. Even though my house area was just opposite.Cousin brother suggested himself to get down and stop all the car to let me pass through first.Wakaka. i said please no...never.

At last, all the car behind me cant wait anymore and take another route.Then i did the same thing too.Every car follows behind me can trained to be very patient.One more thing, even u keep on pressing the horn, i will not care about it.Safety first!!Finally, i'm safe at home. My brother was back.I'm really touched when i saw he was talking with my youngest brother.

Am i stupid???

At night, it was the party time. Maternal and paternal's family members attended the party. Oh so lovely. We were all together. Seeing the children playing around.By the time we wanna let the birthday boy cut cake, he already fall asleep. Sweat.... he was like cant open his eyes anymore even we tried to wake him up.

51天~

亲爱的，我写这你看不懂啦！

因为，你看不懂华语。

你也快要不会说华语了。

我好久没跟你说话了。

你知道，我还是会很担心你吗？

尤其是现在放假在家无所事事的时候。

担心着你的工作应付不来，

担心着你会不会再被烫伤。

每天早上特别早醒来，只在等你上网。

如果等不到，只好又睡回去了。

每天都有很多事情想告诉你，想跟你分享的。

久了没说，我却都忘了。

想起来时，每样东西你却发现我已经说过很多次了。

现在，却不知觉的自己说话越来越像你了。

在这，我是在重复着你说的话。

在这，闷了，没你在陪我做无聊的事情。

吃鸡肉，没你在，没人弄干净鸡肉再给我吃。

没你在这，我不会再吃菜。

我想念，在我闹情绪时，你总是给我一个大大的拥抱。

你几时才要回来？

51 天。。我等。。等。。。

我很想念。。

还是可以一个人生活，虽然还是不习惯。。

命运不能被选择，但是能靠自己的努力改变生命！

刚刚在一个人的部落看到了这一句话，

命运不能被选择，但是能靠自己的努力改变生命！

命运往往不是那么如愿以偿。

常常在埋怨我跟不合的人住在一起。

一个人的耐心，脾气还是有限的。

有时候，想想如果可以往另一位方面想，或许不是那样的。

昨天，我还是一样跟朋友诉苦了。

到最后，问题始终不是出在我身上。

我和他们来自不同世界的人，我不会跟他们说抱歉。

我也不会再因为你们感到如此的愧疚。

我只能靠自己的努力改变如此的生活。

等到租房子的合约到期，我想我会搬出那间家。

我希望家人明白我的不便，体谅我的处境。

而给我一辆车，让我不必再麻烦人家。

让三餐可以解决，不要在烦恼。

快熟面，白面包当晚餐，我害怕了。

我在哪里住了一年半，生活并不是说完全不快乐。

但是，还是不是我想要的大学生活。

我一直很想去的慈济静思书轩，我还是一样不曾去过。

因为，我依然给人家带来麻烦。

家人都会说，让你去读书并不是让你去享受。

我明白这个道理，毕竟我在哪里的确花了不少钱。

想一想，每天从早上课到下午，放学回家，无所事事。

却又完全没心情读书，复习。

在这样下去，我？！还得了吗？

比较起来，在inti的生活虽然比现在辛苦多倍，却充实多了。

我还是一样很想念。

如果能够找到比较便宜的房子，我想有自己的私人空间还是会改善许多的。

我是容易被朋友影响的人，我需要有意志力，决心。

不然，我还是一样不会感到一点点的满足。

不必说比较，每次听见朋友在其他大学读书的，我的确觉得自己太差劲了。

埋怨这，埋怨那。。。只好埋怨自己没把事情做好。

嘴里常说家乡确实学习的机会少，不能够像大城市的人一样学到那么多东西。

现在，是时候自己争取机会了。

选择了一种自己喜欢的舞蹈，第一次的尝试却有让我想退缩的感觉。

不行再让自己三分钟热度了，下个学期开始，我还是会继续尝试。

加油~

when u're there and i'm here

57 days more and you will be back.
u left for almost 2 weeks already.
ur dinner, my breakfast.
i wake up, it's time for u to sleep.
so i wake up early and u stay up late to webcam.
u went to work, i'm still at home.
u went to travel, i'm still at home.
u went to shopping, i'm still at home.
i'm waiting for u.

i miss u!!!

i'm sick again

haiz. i'm sick again. fever+cough+flu= asthma >.<
everytime, during holiday when i'm back at home.
sure i'll sick!!
doctor said because of the weather here.
i'm allergic with that.
mum said maybe i miss the doctor very much or long time ady didnt pay money for that doctor.
but this time is the worst!!
asthma non-stop.. can't talk since i'm lack of energy.
didn't bath for the whole day.
sweat... i'm smelly >.<
hope i will recover soon.
i'm tired even that i slept for the whole day.
i'm still havent hang out with friends.

still clearly in my mind

almost one week, i cant get to see u.
almost one week, i cant get to listen to ur voice.
almost one week, i cant get to act as a cat.
it will continue for 2more months.

no chance for me to do so. looking at ur picture, thinking of u. babe, i'm pretty much miss u. can't get to tell u everything happened in my life. haha, i'm sure u'll miss my grandma's story right?? gonna spam ur message box!!

worrying that when i meet u jz tell u everything, it's too late. and i will forgotten every single things. told my mum and cousin about u =) sweetest thing ever. once i heard ur favourite song, i smile at myself.

babe, i'm still remember by that time i'm walking into the boarding room. we going take different flight, u going to london and i'm going back home. felt so sad to leave u there alone. once i turned back, glad that u're still standing there and smile at me.

困扰着我的你

你一直是我生活的干扰物。
我恨了，我的确恨了。
是你让我太累，是你让我不懂如何面对你。
每个人问起你，我不懂怎样的回应是最好的。
曾替你想过，站在每个不懂的点看待你，考虑你的事。
为你寻找种种的借口，往好的一面想。
很抱歉的，每到最后的结局会是我们都不想看到的。
不是我一个人的绝望，是大家对你的绝望。
这个世界，不是我一个人的，我无法掌控。
但是，我希望我还可以改变。
你的自以为是，你的自大，你的骄傲。。
难道，你没发觉到事情都变的不一样吗？
请问到最后你得到的是什么？
终是以为自己是成熟的，独立的。。
试问你自己做了什么是成熟的？
不管在哪里，那个角落。。我去到哪里。。
为什么？你还是每个人口中的话题？
难道，你就是有让人说不完的是非吗？
我厌倦了。我不再替你担心。。我也不会默默的了。
你的事，我的事。。。可以像黑和白。。分得那么清楚。
也请你，不要为难我，好吗？
为难我，去到哪里，每个人都对你的是是非非那么有兴趣。
我一辈子，欠了你多少？
只是，我想走的远一点。。
我也想有我的生活。。我自己个儿的朋友。
没有了真实的我和你， 只有客套的我和你。。。
我很想跟你讲清楚。